“Just landed. Fuck this airlines.” The message read.
“I’m here waiting, same car, right out front.” -Just like a good girl- I was tempted to say.
“Good girl, see you in a few.”
The drive back to my house was filled with the simple pleasantries any two people would exchange after years of no communication. -How are you? How have you been? Anything exciting happen in your life?- That sort of thing. I only kept the questions coming because they kept me grounded to reality as my mind tried to drift off into devious, wonderful scenarios of he and I crammed into my tiny car. When he laid his hand over mine as I shifted gears, I nearly swerved off the road.
“It’s really great to see you Sammy, thanks for picking me up.” And just like that his hand was gone, leaving my hand scorching hot.
“Yeah, no problem.”
His family was long gone from this place, so I offered up my spare bedroom and had dinner prepped and ready to cook as we walked in. I smiled over my shoulder at him as he complimented the smell. Oregano, parsley, Italian seasoning and homemade marinara sauce filled mt two bedroom home.
“I just have to throw the chicken in the oven and it’ll be ready before you’re settled in.”
“Do you mind if I shower? I hate flying, I always feel so dirty after.”
I gestured for him to follow me down the hall towards the bathroom. Opening the closet door, I handed him the biggest towel I owned. “You’ve got about twenty five minutes before the hot water goes out.”
“I won’t take that long.” He laughed.
“I know…” We shared a look and I couldn’t help the smile, as my lashes fluttered to the floor, I spun and shut the door behind me. I leaned against the door until I heard William turn the shower on. My chest heaved in a sigh as I pushed away to finish cooking dinner.
“So why the sudden urge to come back after all these years? I thought you said you’d never step foot in this city ever again?”
He didn’t look at me as he spoke. That worried me.
“I came back to tie up some loose ends.”
“Oh?” My voice was quiet and I couldn’t look at him now either.
“Yeah.” We’d both stopped eating and because I couldn’t take the pressure of the silence in that moment, I had to ask.
“And by loose ends you mean what exactly?” I looked up at him then. I always saw his lips first, lips I’d yearned to kiss for what felt a lifetime. The were plump and beautiful but not in a feminine way. They suited him well and so did the scruff of a beard and mustache. Like his sandy blond hair that had recently been cut, it was shaved neat. He looked older, more rugged and handsome than the last time I saw him and I felt myself yearning for his touch all over again. Or was it just a new wave of yearning? Had I ever truly stopped wanting him in all this time? No, not once.
“Sammy, I…” his words trailed off as he looked up at me. What did he see in that moment, I wonder? Sighing hard, he slowly put both hands on the table. It was a calculated move, one he knew I would watch and that’s when I saw it.
“No.” I felt the sting of tears in my eyes before the word had even slipped from my mouth.
“Sammy, I got married last month. I wanted to call, should have called. But, well things are complicated. Her name is Emily and in truth, I think you two would be at each other’s throats if you ever met. She’s the opposite of you in every way now that I think about it.”
His words rolled over me, not a single one stuck out except married. I looked up and away trying to force the tears back. I had no right to cry. He was never mine, not really. For some reason I nodded, maybe he asked if I was okay, but I nodded and tried to smile at him.
“That’s great, really great. Congratulations.” What else was there to say? I pushed my chair back and stood, began clearing the table to distance myself from the bomb he’d just dropped on me.
“Please sit down Sammy. Talk to me. Leave the dishes, talk to me.” He gently demanded.
I sat but didn’t say a word. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him because every time I did, my eyes were drawn to the small band of gold around his ring finger. I heard his chair slide, watched out of the corner of my eye as he came to my side, kneeling down beside me.
“Don’t do this. I need you to be happy for me. I’ve changed, we’ve changed.” He emphasized. “We’re not the same kids we were fifteen years ago. I love her, Sammy. She’s wonderful.”
“Stop.” I covered my mouth in an attempt to swallow the sobs. One more word and those damn tears would fall.
He reached for my hands and I watched as his, twice the size of mine, swallowed them in his grasp. So maybe he didn’t have to say another word for them to fall after all.
“Will,” I shook my head, “you shouldn’t be here.” But what I wanted to say was -You shouldn’t be married to anyone but me.-
“I had to tell you in person, I had to give you that much. Damn it, Sammy, look at me.”
“What do you want from me Will?” Something snapped inside me. I wanted to believe it was some kind of wall being thrown up between us, but as the pain in my chest manifested ten fold, I knew it was the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces.
“I want you to be okay, I want you to be happy for me. I didn’t leave looking to get married. It just happened.”
I turned the pain into anger, it was all I knew to do in that moment. “You expect me to be happy? I’ve loved you since the day we met and you know that.”
“I know.” His voice had grown quiet, as if he expected me to yell. Good, because I wasn’t done.
“I didn’t beg you to stay when you wanted to travel the world without me. You wanted your freedom and who was I to take that from you? We were never official. I didn’t have a say.”
He was silent, so I continued, my voice raising, more frantic as I pulled my hands free and began to walk away from him. “I loved you, love you, and you made it sound like you wanted me too. How could you say things like ‘I wish you were here’ or Sammy, get your ass to Europe now!’ Why string me along if you’re just…”
He’d followed me and before I could say the word, he took my wrist and spun me around, hugged me to his broad chest.
“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t hug him back, I didn’t want to and he must have known because he shook me a little. “Hug me back god damn it.” I shook my head no, my face, my tears smearing against his dark blue button up shirt. “I said I was sorry, Sammy. Hug me back, please.” Again I shook my head, defiant. I knew he both hated and loved that about me. Was I still trying? Even now?
“Let me go, you shouldn’t touch me. You’re, you’re married now.”
And just like that, his fingers were curled around my biceps and he was walking me back until I was pressed against the wall. My eyes were wide and shining with tears as I searched his face for a hint of reason.
“Why didn’t you stop me? I would have stayed if you had asked. Stop me, Sammy.” His body pinned me to the wall, his mouth drawing closer to mine. I could feel his breath on my lips now, “Stop me.” He whispered. I saw the pain in his eyes, it matched my own. I couldn’t look at that pain. I wanted it gone, from both of us. It was now or never and with a shaking breath, I closed that tiny distance and poured all my love into him with that kiss.
At first the kiss was rough, needy, our lips smashing against each other. And then his tongue pried my mouth open and he kissed me the way I had always wanted to be kissed by him. His large hands scooped under my ass and I curled my slender legs around his waist. My fingers tangled in his hair, tugging at it hard just like old times. He moaned into my mouth and I swallowed that moan, giving him one in return as he began to grind me against the wall.
Then suddenly I was on my feet, legs shaking, body trembling, eyes unfocused as he stepped away from me. My chest was heaving, blood pounding in my ears.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” His words fell short, he was shaking too. The pads of my fingers brushed my swollen, bruised lips as I watched him war with himself. His emotions were bare and naked to me in that moment and I knew if I didn’t say or do anything now, I’d lose him forever. He was married, but I didn’t feel guilty at all. If he loved her, truly loved her, he wouldn’t be here, wouldn’t have been tempted. He was looking for a way out.
I disappeared into my bedroom and came back out to see he had taken a few steps as if to follow me but had thought better of it. Handcuffs dangled from my right hand and he looked pained as he tried to decide what to say, the words so obviously stuck in his throat.
“You love me too, Will. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. But you’re married, and you should go. Go back to the woman who’s nothing like me and never speak to me again. Or… “I threw the cuffs his way and he caught them, ran his hands over the familiar links he’d bought just for me. “Or you can cuff me, take me, have me, and finally admit to yourself that I’m the only woman in the world you could ever master and love at the same time.” He stared at the cuffs for a long time and I thought he really would walk away and leave me forever.
“I searched everywhere for someone better than you Sammy. I thought she was the one, but… she doesn’t do this to me.” He palmed his cock through his jeans and knew he was mine.
With long, determined strides, he came upon me, spinning me around, pressing my body once more against the wall. I heard the Velcro and felt the soft gel of the cuff on one wrist, then the next. He left me there against the wall, hands behind me and as I turned to see where he had gone, I felt the sting of his hand on my ass. I hissed and smiled.
“Do you remember when…”
He finished the sentence for me. “I spanked you so hard your ass was cherry red and bruised for three weeks?”
I moaned. He took that as a sign and roughly, he popped the button of my jeans, ripped the fly down and yanked them down around my knees. Goose bumps prickled over my body at the cold air against my bare skin and before I knew it, he was laying into my ass, each spank getting harder and harder. The slap of his palm echoed throughout the house and it hurt like hell. It hurt and it felt so damn good all the same.
I heard him groan in frustration, like he wasn’t sure how much longer he could tease me without making himself cum. “We’ve changed Sammy, and I’m going to enjoy mastering you all over again. Are you still my dirty girl? Huh? My dirty little bitch?”
He yanked at my hair and pulled the words from my lips, “Yes, I’ve always been your dirty little bitch!”
Lips pressed to my ear as his fingers found my folds, delving deep into my hot cunt in one rough thrust, “My slave.”
“Yes!” I agreed. “Yes!” I begged. “Yes!” I cried as he finger fucked me until the earth shattering, knee shaking orgasm spasmed through me and onto his hand.
Guiding me down to my knees with the handcuffs, he shoved his fingers into my mouth and I sucked my juices from them willingly, eagerly.
“More.” I begged.
I watched him struggled with his jeans, a new hunger, a new thrill heating my sex as his circumcised cock sprung forward. He didn’t waste time talking now. On my knees, hands pinned behind my back, I was at his complete mercy. Just how he loved it. Both hands tangled in my hair as he shoved my face to his cock. He drove it deep, gagging me on that first thrust. My eyes watered and he didn’t let up. He liked it sloppy, liked to see the pain of his cock deep in my throat. He loved it because he knew I loved it too. As he forced my mouth up and down the length of his shaft, I gagged, my saliva dripping from my chin. He loved that sound. When I looked up at him, he growled, pulling his slick cock out of my mouth. He began slapping my face with it, shoving it back in to poke at the inside of my cheek. So rough, so wild, so perfect. Grunting and on the verge, William pulled my hair so that my face was tilted up at him, his cock hard as a rock as he stroked it furiously. I opened my mouth, begging, writing with the need to taste him. His head tilted back and with one more glance down, he shoved his member to the back of my throat and spilled his seed. I choked it all down in long, greedy gulps and when he was done, I took extra care to suck him completely clean. I loved watching him squirm because once he was spent, his cock was extra sensitive.
He put his dick away and as I knelt before him, stroked my cheek. I nuzzled his palm and waited patiently for him to take the handcuffs off.
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